


Vigilance

by Iamnamedsilence



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Cat, Coping, Demons, Dragon Age: Inquisition Quest - Here Lies the Abyss, F/M, Foreshadowing, Friendship, Gen, Grey Wardens, Grey Wardens are assholes, Guilt, Hawke did a thing and has regrets, I have so many stories in this universe and no idea where I should start, It would be sad if something bad happened to them, Legacy DLC, Open Ending, Post-Dragon Age II, Remorse, Secrets, The Warden wants to know things, Threesome - F/F/M, Vigil's Keep (Dragon Age), angst with fluff, background threesome, cat of remorse, demon of remorse, people of Vigil's Keep are nice, tons of foreshadowing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21790240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamnamedsilence/pseuds/Iamnamedsilence
Summary: After being forced to leave Kirkwall, Mel Hawke gets an unexpected invitation. In Vigil's Keep, she will have the opportunity to meet the woman that stopped the Blight. For Mel, coming back to Ferelden and spending there some peacefull time is a blessing - but one thing can stand in a way of Mel's friendship with Saliya Mahariel: Anders' death.And there is a storm coming...
Relationships: Anders & Hawke, Fenris/Female Hawke, Warden & Hawke, Zevran Arainai/Female Mahariel, Zevran Arainai/Female Warden, background Fenris/Hawke/Isabela
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. The Road to Vigil’s Keep

Goodbyes are always hard, especially when you part your ways with the people you had spent the last six years with. But it was the time to go, with the Templars and nobles breathing on Mel Hawke’s neck – and Mel Hawke didn't want anyone to breathe on her neck. Well, with one exception, but said exception was currently standing on the pier beside her and also making his goodbyes. Wherever they were going now, they were going together.

In fact, Mel had little idea of what to do. Over the last seven years Kirkwall was her home, a home she often hated, a home that took too many things from her, but a home nevertheless. She saved this city more than once, made friends here, found love, got used to all that mess. Now she had to leave and it felt weird, and it felt bad. Somehow Mel hoped her life will look like this forever – but the destruction of the Chantry, mages rebelling and Meredith’s final madness marked the end of it. She needed to leave.

Isabela managed to get enough money to buy herself a ship: not a big one, with a small crew, but good for a start, as she said. And since Hawke was leaving Kirkwall, the pirate captain offered that she will take her and Fenris to any place they wanted to go. It wasn't a bad deal and a good way to leave the city quickly. So now they were standing on the pier to talk for the last time to the friends they weren't going to see in a long time – if ever.

Aveline's hug wasn't a long one, but the guard captain had tears in her eyes. Of all people here she knew Hawke for the longest time.

“So you're going back home,” she said.

Hawke shrugged.

“I don't know if there is any “home” in Ferelden anymore. But it's worth trying.”

“And my home is here now.”

Mel nodded.

“I know. You're doing a good job here. Take care of Kirkwall while I'm gone.”

It will probably do better without me, Mel thought, and she believed Aveline was aware of that, but neither of them expressed this thought. Just wishing each other good luck was enough for now.

Merrill wrapped her arms around Mel's neck in a disturbingly passionate way. Even more passionate was the kiss he gave her departing friend: at the corner of the lips, in a non-entierly friendly manner. Mel froze. She remembered too well that she used to have a huge crush on Merrill and that it had never really gone away. The elven woman was always so kind and sweet, even when she and Mel were angry at each other because of that blighted knife. If things happened differently, it might have been Merrill leaving now with her... But Mel didn't expect this kind of a kiss, not in public and definitely not in front of Fenris.

Merrill let go of her friend's neck and backed off, embarrassed and blushing.

“What... what was that?”

Merrill cast her eyes down.

“I... just remember me, would you?”

Mel nodded.

“Of course I will.”

Sweet, sweet Merrill. It hurt so much that they had so many misunderstandings. It hurt so much, that Mel had to deny Merrill what the elven woman desired the most. She was right in the end and Merrill's obsession with the Eluvian resulted only in pain, including Marethari's death. But in the end, the Dalish gods must have protected Merrill, so she didn't end as an abomination. She was still herself and alive, beautiful, kind and sweet girl, now no more practicing blood magic, devoted to her new task: protecting the elves in the Kirkwall alienage.

Her kiss burned and reminded of all the kisses, that never happened.

Varric shook his head. His smile could tell he is considering commenting on the situation – or maybe describing it in one of his stories?

“Don't even try” Mel warned him.

“I won't, I won't. I'll respect Daisy's privacy.”

“What about my privacy?”

Varric shrugged.

“You're leaving anyway, Hawke.”

She crossed arms on her chest.

“Thank you very much! So I have to expect you'll be telling my story to anyone willing to hear it?”

“People want to hear it all the time! The story of the Champion of Kirkwall and her exploits! And whose job is that, if not mine?”

“I'll miss you, Varric,” Mel said. “I'll miss you greatly.”

She leaned down to embrace the dwarf. She noticed tears in his eyes.

“You're crying?” she asked.

“Just go, Hawke. And don't sink Isabela's ship.”

“I'll do my best.”

She looked at Fenris exchanging his goodbyes with Aveline, then Varric, then finally Merrill. The last one was short and must have been uncomfortable for both of them, so they just nodded at each other from the distance. Hawke was relieved after both elves took a safe distance from each other. She thought that after what Merrill had just done Fenris will feel more comfortable not seeing her anymore. Not that he ever really liked her in the first place, what wasn't surprising, but over the years he had learned to tolerate her, probably more than he had ever tolerated Anders.

Finally, they got on the ship and Isabela ordered her crew to set sail. It moved, bouncing lightly on the waves, away from the pier and the people standing there. Mel sighed.

Suddenly, she noticed someone running towards the ship. The person passed Aveline, Varric and Merril and prepared to jump.

Varric reached for Bianca, but before he managed to take the aim, the man landed on the deck, just in front of Mel. He rose, smiled.

“Now that is what I call a good entrance' he said. 'I sometimes manage to do it.”

Isabela frowned, crossed her arms on her chest.

“Hi, Zevran,” she said. “You're here to make up for the last time you were around and didn't say hello?”

“I can apologize, Isabela, but first... ask the dwarf on the pier to stop pointing his crossbow at me? Hawke?”

“It's all right, Varric!” Mel shouted. “It's just the assassin from Antiva!”

“And that has to make me calm?” Varric answered.

“Hello, master Tethras!” Zevran called to him. “Pity we don't have an opportunity to know each other better. Next time maybe. For now, I have business with Hawke here! And it doesn't include killing... well, it doesn’t involve killing her at least.”

Varric shook his head and put Bianca away. Soon the ship would be out of his reach anyway.

Hawke looked at the unexpected company.

“Now, what’s going on,” she asked.

“Exactly” Fenris added. The way he was looking at another elf couldn't be described as friendly.

“First, my apologies to you, Isabela, as promised,” Zevran said, performing an overly complicated bow in front of the pirate, whose impression instantly turned to friendly. “I really wanted to meet you back then, but the circumstances were against me. First the Crows, then... long story. I also hoped to be in Kirkwall sooner, but things got complicated on my way... I see you've made quite a mess here... I've seen this lovely ruins in the place the Chantry once stood. Am I right to assume you are responsible?”

“No,” Fenris said.

Zevran looked at him for a long moment.

“So what happened?” he asked.

“Anders happened” Fenris answered.

“Anders? Are we thinking about the same Anders? Good-looking, blonde, likes cats, dislikes Templars?”

Mel sighed.

“Long story.”

“He is dead” Fenris added.

“What? Dead? Well, that might get things complicated when we...”

“But you're not here to ask about Anders,” Mel said quickly. Really, Anders was the last thing she wanted to discuss right now. Or ever.

Zevran nodded.

“No. In fact, I have an important matter for you, Hawke.”

“And I thought you were here for me,” Isabela said, but she was still smiling at the elven assassin.

“Isabela, my dearest Isabela, I know your hopes, but, alas, I must shatter them. I care for you deeply, but there is a very special person in my life and I’m here on her request. I fact, she wanted me to find someone named Hawke, and since it happened I had met you before…” he reached to his pocket and took out a letter. “I have no idea where were you going, but I suggest that we took the course to Ferelden. This is for you” he handed Mel the letter.

Mel started reading, and as she did it, she felt cold climbing on her back.

This. This was something she believed to leave behind, never to return to it, but it came back, a destiny, a curse.

_I found interesting rumors lately about a man from Ferelden who did something for the Grey Wardens in the Vimmark Mountains outside Kirkwall. Apparently, there is an ancient Warden outpost in the mountains and said a man was called there about thirty years ago. He was an apostate and for his services, he was rewarded with the safety for him and his family. I searched the records at Kinnoh Hold and talked to some refugees from Lothering and learned, that he was named Malcolm Hawke and that he left Kirkwall with his wife, Leandra of house Amell. The Amells, as I learned, had another relative in the Ferelden Circle, but the fate of Tavren, killed during his Harrowing at the eve of the Blight seems to be of no concern right now. What is important, is that said Malcolm Hawke settled with his wife at Lothering. I was afraid the family died during the Blight, but it turned out they managed to escape. Malcolm was already dead by this time, but his wife and her children survived and went to Kirkwall. This is where I need you, my love. I need you to find those people and persuade at least one of them to travel to Amarantine. I need the knowledge they may possess and probably their help._

“Oh, Blight!” Mel cursed, the paper crushed in her hand.

“What is that?” Fenris asked.

“Read this yourself,” she said and gave him the letter.

It took Fenris a longer time, his skills still far from perfect, though better and better.

“You think...?” he said finally.

“Yes. That's what I'm thinking. Blight!”

Fenris shook his head, then handed the letter back to Zevran, attempting to keep as much distance from the other elf as possible.

“So you know what it is about?” Zevran asked.

Mel nodded, feeling like the dark clouds were gathering over her head.

“I think I know. It is mot something I'd like to discuss. Not here. Not that I don't trust you, Isabela.”

The pirate shrugged.

“That situation at Vimmark Mountains?” she asked.

'Yes. That.”

“Oh. So the Wardens want to know the details?”

“If the Wardens wanted to know, they would already be dragging Hawke to Weisshaupt,” Zevran said. “I think it is Wardens’ matter, but it's also Saliya's matter. She wants me to get you to her. Alive, of course. Otherwise, you'd be dead already. Or I would, you can never tell. But since I failed only one assassination in my life...”

“You talk too much” Fenris complained.

Zevran gave him another long glance.

“All right then,” he said after a moment of silence. “To make things short: Saliya Mahariel, Warden-Commander of Ferelden, wanted me to find someone of Hawke family, I've already found you, so we are going to Ferelden now.”

“And I hoped for a nice vacation on Par Vollen,” Mel said.

Isabela laughed.

“No way I'm going to Par Vollen. You know that.”

“Of course we are not going there. We were going to Ferelden.”

“Good,” Zevran said. “That spares me persuading you. Isabela, dear, tell your people to take the course on Amaranthine.”

***

“And I have to bear his presence now”

“He is not a mage,” Mel noted.

Fenris sighed.

They were standing on the deck and looking at the sea surrounding the ship. It was calm, in deep hues of blue, blending into the lighter blues of the sky at the horizon. Behind them, the northern coast and Vimmark Mountains were still visible as a dark stripe.

Last time Mel traveled on a ship she spent most of her time in the hold, along with other refugees. There wasn't much space, some of the people were sick or wounded, the smell was unbearable and each day she had to fight with the ship's owner so that he didn't throw her dog overboard. This time she and Fenris got some space under the deck and a substitute for privacy, and even if Fluffy wasn't the happiest mabari ever, he could at least run freely on the deck threatened only by sailors curses thrown at him. Mel couldn't complain now. Neither on the ship itself nor the company. Isabela seemed to be glad that she got a few weeks extra with her friends and Zevran was a person she would like to hang with. She didn't see any problems here.

Fenris did.

“He is not a mage. That is the one good thing about him.”

“And the bad things?” Hawke asked.

“He is... annoying.”

Mel shook her head.

“Well, he is not the first annoying person around you. You can stand him.”

Fenris made the expression that was to be considered as his smile.

“I've endured worse.”

“Exactly, love.” Mel agreed

“But he stares.”

Mel laughed.

“I've noticed. I think that’s just his way... Tell him you don't want it – he will stop.”

Fenris snorted and looked away, to the sea.

Behind them, the sun was going down slowly. Mel yawned.

“We could also go under the deck to get some rest” she suggested. “No annoying elves there, once we hide behind all those chests.”

Fenris sighed and followed her.

Mel intended to just cuddle a little and fall asleep. The privacy they had was limited, even if it existed at all.

She didn’t need more. They were going to have it, in the end, because she was going to build a home somewhere. In the end, it was always like this for her: leaving and then rebuilding.

She was wondering, how did Lothering look like. She got some letters of people trying to rebuild the village, but she also heard, that the very soil was too tainted.

She took off the most uncomfortable parts of her outfit and she was taking off the shoes, when the ladder leading under the deck cracked and Mel and Fenris saw Isabela coming down to them.

In the dim light, they saw their friend and pirate captain smiling.

“Well,” she said.

Mel blinked.

“Well, what?”

Isabela kept smiling, as she approached. Mel frowned.

“I don’t like this smile. Who are you, demon and what have you done with Isabela?”

Isabela laughed then she sat on a crate next to both of her friends.

“I had just talked with Zevran and he suggested a thing. So I’m going to go for it, why not. And you both, I need you to answer me one question” she said and bowed down, making the cleavage of her outfit even more prominent. Mel had caught herself starring – not for the first time in her life, because that was just how Isabela was, always provoking, always engaging in innuendo.

Mel got used to this – or at least that was what she was saying to herself, seeing… well, something that was worth seeing.

“So, what about it?” Isabela asked.

Mel snapped out of the trance.

“About what?” she asked.

She heard Fenris’ nervous coughing and Isabela’s laughter.

“I was asking if you were interested in something more than starring. Both of you.”

Mel blinked. Looked at Fenris. He definitely looked embarrassed.

“Since it is obvious you both are attracted to me since I am attracted to both of you, I always was… Why don’t we go our ways with some interesting memories?”

Mel’s mind worked quickly – her imagination worked, to be precise and her body was answering to the things she was imagining. But this was not her decision alone. She looked at Fenris.

“Well...” she said.

Fenris shrugged.

Isabela smiled and approached, touching Mel’s cheek with nimble, brown fingers.

***

This was a pleasant journey, Mel must have admitted. It was a shame it must have came to its end. Amaranthine was just in sight, city walls shining in the morning sun, and Mel’s mind was still under the deck, were not so long ago she woke up between two lovely people. Things she never believed could happen in her life, but there she was.

Isabela leaned on the railing, satisfied smile on her face.

“I’ll miss you” she admitted. “And we need to do this again someday when we meet again.”

Mel leaned to kiss her and it was long and strong, a kiss she will remember for a very long time.

“Definitely,” she said.

There was another good-bye kiss on the pier, one for Mel, one for Fenris. The crew ignored that, already aware, that their new captain had an “affair” with the two of the passengers – the crew would have to get used to Isabela’s habits. Zevran just looked amused by all the situation – although during the journey he left most of the comments to himself, much to Fenris’ relief.

“Where now?” Mel asked Zevran once they left the ship.

The port, much smaller than the one in Kirkwall, was busy as it was usual with such places. The city looked familiar and unfamiliar at the same time – this was a Fereldan city, no disturbing statues of chained slaves, most of the people around locals, although Mel recognized some Free Marches banners on some of the ships.

The people around thew some glances on two elf men, one human woman, and one mabari, who just left a little, swift ship. They didn’t ask questions, though – even, if any of them had something against the elves, weapons scared them off – and if that wouldn’t be enough, Mel’s appearance, large size, and broken nose would do the rest of the job.

At least she hoped for that. If not – well, some local thugs would be unlucky.

“It takes about two days to reach Vigil’s keep,” Zevran said.

Mel nodded.

She looked around with interest. Ande… someone told her once how did Amaranthine look like just after the Blight, before this weird Darkspawn infestation that happened here. Mel was never there – she spent most of her life in southern Ferelden, visited Denerim twice, once with her father, when she was still a teenager and Bethany and Carver were little, the second time – when she and Carver decided to join the army. Then they returned to the south and traveled farther, to Ostagar, and then…

It was another life. Ferelden then seemed to be a happy place, a home. Now she was back and everything looked different.

Most of the people had surprisingly pale faces, no one spoke Orlesian or Tevene. There were some dwarves and elves, but Mel was sure no one here had ever seen a qunari. A Templar was standing in front of an inn and Mel froze at this sight before she realized this Templar has probably no idea who she was and what she had done

That was for the better.

They passed to the market, hidden in the shadow of a massive city wall, built probably when Clayne that formed Fereldan nation had to defend themselves from the half-civilized Avvar tribes. The wall must have been damaged during the Darkspawn infestation but was rebuilt over the last several years.

They spent some time in the market buying supplies for the brief journey to Vigil’s Keep – Zevran chatting with the merchants, some of them already knowing him and offering him some goods they were sure he would be interested in – only one of the sellers looked at him suspiciously, then threw an equally suspicious glance on Fenris, on the high-quality equipment both men wore and commented something about thieving elves.

But before Mel answered, the merchant’s neighbor growled at him.

“This elf is a decent one, a friend of the Warden-Commander! Who is an elf herself! Show some respect.”

The hero of Ferelden, Mel thought. Saliya Mahariel, the woman I had heard so much about. The one, who stopped the Blight and killed the Archdemon. Merrill’s Friend. Anders’ friend too.

And I’m going to meet her.

It seemed a little unreal and Mel thought, she is small against this woman who gained Amaranthine’s an entire Ferelden’s respect, despite being an elf. Because Mel might have defeated the Arishok and mad Templar Commander, but she was still much, much less, than stopping the blight and civil war at the same time.

This woman wants something from me, Mel thought. And I have no idea, what it might be.

***

Fereldan air smelled differently.

There was something about the coast surrounding Kirkwall that made it depressing, the landscape of Vimmarks was bleak and harsh. Fereldan plains, on the other hand, had enough time to recover after the Blight and were covered by fields and meadows, with windmills occupying the hills and occasional woods here and there.

Mel missed this landscape. She sighed, looking at this.

“I’ve forgotten how beautiful it is,” she said.

“Idyllic” Fenris agreed. “Calm. Like it had no problems. Or like it kept its problems hidden very deep.”

“Or both” Zevran said. “This is an interesting land. When I came here I expected the people to be half-barbarians… well, some of them are, for sure, but this is just a part of the picture. You will see.”

“At least they don’t accept slavery,” Fenris said.

“Mostly” Zevran answered. “Although during the Blight one of Logain’s people decided that selling the populace of the alienage to Tevinter is a brilliant idea of founding the war.”

Mel saw Fenris grinding his teeth. Zevran shouldn’t be the object of his anger, but the light tone he spoke those words with could be seen as provoking.

“Well, he is dead” Zevran added. “And the mage who coordinated the operation is dead too. I decapitated him myself if you want to know.”

Fenris calmed down a little, but the remark of killing the mage didn’t change the fact he seemed to be mistrustful in Zevran’s presence.

There was no clear reason for that. It just was like this – Zevran with his open, flamboyant behavior, remarks on the verge of flirting, and Fenris, spiky and closed. Maybe that was it all about – maybe Zevran was just too open for him?

As they traveled, earlier on the ship and now, while walking, Mel noticed, how the Anitivian elf is approaching her lover – like he tried to reach out to him, peek under the protective shell Fenris built around himself – and as an answer, Fenris just made his metaphorical spikes even more prominent.

Zevran is just too friendly, Mel decided.

That happened. At least she didn’t have to watch out on the two elves so that they won’t kill each other. This was a pleasant change from previous situations.

Like the one with…

Well, with a person she knew.

They stopped for the night in a small wood on the hill. No suspicious ruins, no hidden corpses that could arise as undead, hopefully, no large spiderwebs. No bears, as Zevran said relieved.

“Are bears a plague in Ferelden again?” Mel asked, remembering, that bears were always a problem for Lothering and that the outskirts of the village were always surrounded by traps.

“Bears are always a plague in Ferelden,” Zevran said.

“Why am I not surprised...”

In the wood, there was a hidden rock formation with waterfall and a small pond, perfect to take a little bath, so Mel used the opportunity.

As she returned, she heard the elves talking.

“...the thrill of it, yes. And the thought the bastard is no longer here, sometimes, too. A relief.”

This was Zevran’s voice. Mel stood in the shrubs, waiting. Then she heard Fenris.

“Some people need to die for the good of others.”

“True as that. There was this noble in Denerim, we found him imprisoned in the dungeon. He offered support for setting him free, but there was something fishy about him. Humans sometimes look at you like this, and you just know… We left him in the cell. And then the Darkspawn came and destroyed the residence.”

“He died?”

“No, the asshole had more luck than deserved. They found him afterward, still alive. The bastard was a son of the previous arl, so he was the heir or something. But, well, we learned what he had done and...”

“What was that what he did?”

There was a prolonged silence.

“He didn’t deserve to live,” Zevran said in the end. “Believe me, he did not. And this was one of the most satisfying jobs in my life.”

They both went silent for a moment and Mel decided this is the time to go out.

“Sorry for interrupting the bonding time,” she said, sitting beside them.

Fluffy lay down beside her and she scratched the dog behind the ear.

Above them, the sky was clear and the stars bright, and as they were falling asleep, Mel and Fenris curled around each other, the constellations blinked over them.

***

While the first day of their travel was calm, the second happened to be more difficult. First, there was an abandoned tower on the hill and Mel wanted to know what is inside, and when Zevran said the tower was a problem for several years now, Mel felt tempted to go there.

Then, there were the villagers nearby, who locked the door, seeing three armed people and a mabari approaching.

“Problems, lately?” Mel asked.

“Nothing I’m aware of,” Zevran said. “But I was away for some months now, so many things could happen.”

There was no point in calming down the villagers, so they just passed the village quickly, allowing the people to be alone with their issues.

“We will ask in the Keep,” Zevran said and his companions agreed to that.

The real problems happened in the afternoon.

They decided to make a short stop, just to eat some of the food they had with them – that included a thick, Fereldan meat pie and a heavy cheese, one of those, that in Free Marches either costed a fortune or were considered terrible. It seemed calm, but suddenly Fluffy rose, putting down his ears and letting out a growl.

He must have smelled something. Mel looked around, alert.

There was some rustling in the shrubs nearby.

Zevran put the hand on the hilt of one of his daggers – at the same time, a thick crossbow bolt stuck in the cheese wheel.

“Blight” Mel cursed, rising and grabbing her sword.

Whoever was there in the bushes, was going to have a terrible day, she decided.

There were about a dozen of them – typical bandits, with mismatched gear, most of it probably stolen. A better kind of bandits though – this kind that survived long enough to be a danger, this kind, that has reasons to believe they are a match for three people.

Mel had fought many, many of such people in her life and so were the elves, who were with her right now.

She smiled while drawing a circle with her large swords.

“Come on, assholes” she taunted.

If they came close enough, she would just swing a sword to cut more than one of the opponents. Surprisingly, the common bandits had fallen for this too often.

She saw both of the elves grinning.

“Nice exercise!” she threw in.

Another bolt whizzed right beside her ear.

“Oh, come on!” she shouted.

One slightly bolder bandit charged towards her. She stroke a blow towards him, noticing the elves and her dog attacking too.

This was not going to be too easy, but not terribly hard either.

Suddenly, an arrow flew towards the fight – another bandit, was Mel’s first thought, but the arrow stuck in the ground just in front of the bandit’s feet, then the other – in his chest. The man groaned and fell, dead.

The fight stopped for a moment, both sides looking towards where the arrows came from.

A woman was standing on a hillslope, putting another arrow on the chord of her bow. She wore a silver and blue armor, her hair was red and there was another dog beside her feet, growling.

“You are trespassing” she stated. “You are in the area, that is under the protection of the Grey Wardens. You have a choice – to go and never return, or to die now… Since” the woman smirked, “I see you had already attacked the wrong people.”

The bandits looked at each other.

“Well,” the Warden said. “What do you choose?”

“Retreat!” one of the bandits ordered and his companions started to run.

“We got it covered, _mi amor_ ” Zevran said, approaching the woman.

“It was not you who needed help” she answered, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him fiercely.

“Did they deserve your help?”

She shrugged.

“Well, not exactly, but they will return and then I will not be as merciful, as today.”

The Warden’s dot started to jump happily around Zevran, happy to see him. Then he noticed Fluffy and both dogs approached each other, sniffing.

“You are patrolling alone again,” Zevran said.

“I need it sometimes.” the woman shrugged. “Could you introduce me to your friends?”

“Of course. This is Saliya Mahariell, Warden-Commander of Ferelden” Zevran said turning to Mel and Fenris. “And those people are Melinda Hawke and Fenris.

Saliya Mahariel rose her eyebrow.

She was Dalish, with the elaborate tattoos – valaslin, Me corrected herself – covering her forehead. She was rather short and lithe, with triangle-shaped face, small nose, and almond-shaped, brilliant green eyes. Her hair was red, some of it braided and decorated with beads and colorful strings. She had a single golden earring in one ear, and multiple different ones in the other. This mismatched, decorative variety was a contradiction to a Grey Warden armor she wore.

“Hawke?” she said, looking straight into Mel’s eyes.

“You asked me to find Malcolm Hawke’s family,” Zevran said, “And it turned out, I’ve already met them.”

Saliya Mahariel nodded.

“Good,” she said. “Follow me then. It seems my patrol is over for now.


	2. In Sunlight

Vigil’s Keep was a massive stronghold surrounded by two rings of a thick wall. The towers were rising above the walls of the keep, short and stocky, like the people who designed the stronghold decided the most important feature will be close to the earth appeal. One larger tower stood in the middle and behind the Keep the nearby mountain range was visible.

Inside the first ring of the wall stood a small town, with a lively marketplace, an inn and a blacksmith workshop. The people here were human, dwarves and elves alike. Then, inside the second ring, there was a proper courtyard. A statue of Andraste stood there, in realistic Orlesian-influenced style, not the alamari-style one, more common in those grounds. The Prophet looked like she was chopped in half once and then put together again. At her feet, there was a small altar decorated with flowers and candles.

Mel nodded instinctively, while they passed the Prophet’s statue, but Saliya Mahariel just went about, either used to Anderaste’s presence or ignoring the Prophet of the religion that was not hers.

As they went through both courtyards, multiple people greeted them – or rather the Warden-Commander and Zevran. One of the craftsman's apprentice approached, asking when the Commander will have some time to see at the commissioned armor. Saliya Mahariel promised she will come tomorrow.

“Until tomorrow master Wade and master Herren will make me deaf with their quarreling” the apprentice complained.

Saliya Mahariel laughed.

“Just tell them I’ll come tomorrow and leave them to their quarrels,” she said.

“Busy as always, hm?” Mel asked.

The Warden sighted.

“You have no idea. There are days everyone wants a piece of me. That’s why I like to go to patrols alone.”

Mel nodded.

“I had less on my head, and yet there were also days people just swarmed outside my door like I had a solution to their problems. I guess you have it worse.”

Or better, she thought, because you were not forced to leave what you had built here.

There were other arrangements made, as they entered the Keep. Room for the guests, including them with the incoming evening meal. They are the personal guests of the Commander, so they will eat in the main dining room, with everyone else, yes. There shouldn’t be any problem with adding two places, would it?

“Also, call Garevel,” Saliya Mahariel said to the servant. “I need to inform him of the situation with the bandits. I’m sorry, I will join you during the meal” she said to Mel and Fenris. “You too, love,” she said to Zevran. “Give me some time. Take a bath or…” she went silent, when Zevran leaned towards her, whispering something in her ear.

She giggled.

“Oh. Yes. This will be a good idea. Give me some time then and I’ll join you.”

They needed to greet each other properly after several months of being separated, Mel decided.

Fluffy decided to stay in the courtyard along with his new friend, who, as Mel learned, was named Fang. Mel let her dog stay, he needed some company of his kind, granted, some of the Fereldan refugees in Kirkwall had their dogs with them, but if nobles in Hightown kept any pets, those looked more like pampered rats to Mel’s taste, than like proper hounds. Good, that Fluffy didn’t forget how to interact with other mabari.

***

The dining room was a round hall situated on the base floor of one of the big, stocky towers, just next to the kitchen. Nothing formal – Mel suspected the Keep had another dining hall, suitable for nobles, but the Wardens preferred it simple, apparently – and Mel appreciated that. It had three pairs of doors, all of them opened – one to the corridor, one to the courtyard, one to the kitchen.

There were already plenty of people inside, as Mel and Fenris went down from the chamber that was assigned to them. All of them wore informal clothes, most of them were human, although there were also two dwarves – a black haired low caste woman and a man with an impressive beard, who already sat at the table with a large bottle of some strong alcohol. There was also a high elven woman chatting with a young person wearing a mage robe.

Mel smiled, as the people present looked at her. No familiar faces. She wondered if Nathaniel Howe was in the Keep, but Zevran had no idea and Mel didn’t ask anybody. Well, she needed to see.

The elven woman frowned, approaching Mel and Fenris.

“You are not recruits, I guess?” she asked. “I’d be informed if you were.”

“No, we are guests of the commander” Mel answered. “Melinda Hawke”

“Hawke?!” the mage exclaimed. “The Commander did research in the Kinloch Hold about Hawkes and this family, that was related, Amells.”

Mel nodded.

“I heard I had a cousin in the Fereldan circle,” she said. “But as far as I know he is dead?”

The mage nodded, sadly.

Mel was not in the mood for discussing mages and circles. As a matter of fact, she would be happy never to have discussed this. She was sure the mages in the Ferelden circle had already learned somehow what happened in Kirkwall… maybe not her involvement, hopefully, but, despite all the measures the Templars could undertake, the mages will learn somehow.

Then, as Varric predicted, shit will happen.

A very massive shit.

“Are you a mage?” the mage asked. “Commander was interested in mages of your family, so...”

Mel shook her head.

“Maker forbid that!”

My sister is, she thought. And hopefully, she is all right.

The mage nodded.

“You will talk to the commander. We will discuss it later, I hope.”

How much does he know? Mel thought.

The thoughts of the situation, that caused her to be brought to Vigil’s Keep made her shiver and Mel didn’t like the feeling.

The door opened and two other people entered. First, another elven woman, Dalish, wearing greens and browns, pale hair held up her head. She looked angry. She threw another elf a glance.

“You take care of him,” she said, before sitting down next to the dwarven woman.

The man that followed her was Nathaniel Howe. Judging from how the Dalish behaved, he must have done something that made her angry – but he just entered the hall and took his place, far away from the elf.

The other elven woman looked at him suspiciously.

“What have you done to anger her this time?” she asked. There was an ironic smile on her face.

“I was nice” Nathaniel answered.

The high elf smirked.

“The way a noble is nice to an elf,” she said.

“Ylanni, don’t...”

“You don’t, Nate. Especially not when the commander has guests.

Nathaniel looked at Mel and Fenris. Mel smiled.

“Hi Nathaniel”

“Hawke” he looked genuinely surprised. “What are you doing here?”

More explanation, that she was a guest of the commander. More fear, that she will be asked about An… what happened in Kirkwall. Introducing Fenris. Learning the angry Dalish was named Velanna, the female dwarf – Sigrun and the one drinking hard must have been Oghren. Mel had heard those names before, but now she was able to put them onto faces.

The other Wardens of Vigil’s keep included the elven woman Ylanni Tabris and two more, who were currently on the patrol. The mage, Bryn, was not joined, and although they were considered a recruit by fellow Wardens, they saw themselves as a “consultant”.

This was all Mel learned during the meal – the people living here, building this Warden-based community were used to each other, like a complicated family, as her circle of friends in Kirkwall. This was amusing to watch, but also a little painful, some sorts of dynamics familiar, some completely different, all of this evoking a fresh feeling of loss.

The Wardens of Vigil’s Keep were also a chatty bunch, most of them not hesitate to talk to strangers, so although Saliya and Zevran joined the others, Mel found herself surrounded by the other people, asking, asking questions or just initiating a friendly chat.

Fenris ended in this situation as well, much to his discontent. Ylanni Tabris was not as overly friendly ad Zevran, she was a little harsh – Mel suspected this was, sadly, quite a normal behavior for elves who lived through many hardships living among humans – but Fenris had already enough, so when she sat beside him, he kept throwing her unfriendly glances, until she gave up.

“At lest wine is decent” he sighted, pouring another glass.

Mel laughed, brushed her arm against his arm.

“You’ll be all right, love,” she said.

Then Oghren approached, suggesting Fenris should drink something stronger and for a moment Mel thought Fenris will make an exception for the dwarf – exception from the rule “I don’t tear people’s hearts on the first meeting unless they are magisters”.

“It’s like Hanged Man, only more Grey Wardens” Mel concluded as they left the dining room.

Food was good, decent, hearty Fereldan food: a fish stew, mutton roast, dark bread and three kinds of cheese. There were also some interesting things on the table, like a big jar of fancy Orlesian orange jam, that most of the people here ate with cheese. Which would be probably disgusting for Orlesians, but tasted great.

People were chatty, most of them. No one asked about Anders – by now. She wondered if Velanna, Sigrun and Oghren were aware that Mel knew him. Nathaniel didn’t ask, this was a comfort.

But really should she be worried about Anders?

She probably should.

She looked at Saliya Mahariel, who left the room together with her. The Dalish smiled.

“You have enough of the company, right, Fenris?” She asked. “I’ll leave you two then. We will talk tomorrow. You need some rest after your journey.”

“I had worse journeys than this one. Escaping the Blight, for example.”

Saliya nodded.

“I guess it must be terrible. You are from Lothering?”

“Spent most of my life there” Although this most of her life seemed now to be distant and unreal.

“It was a lovely town. It must have been quite peaceful before.”

“Quite” Mel agreed. “Excluding occasional bandits and bears, yes.

And Templars from local Chantry, who could catch dad teaching Bethany… But still, it was calm and nice and we were happy and now it all is gone.

They started to climb the stairs, both quest chambers and the rooms of the Warden-Commander being situated on upper levels of the Keep.

“As I visited Lothering it was already full of refugees.”

“Just after the battle of Ostagar?” Mel asked.

“Yes”

Mel smiled.

“We could have met each other, but I believe I was wounded then… My brother dragged me from the battle.” Well, “dragged” was an overstatement. There was a cart – and many, many other wounded people. “I was hit on the head and one darkspawn decided that taking me with the horde would be a brilliant idea”

Saliya shivered.

“You are lucky you had your brother with you,” she said, and her voice was far more serious than Mel could expect.

They were in a safe place, and the Blight was over a long time ago.

And Carver was dead, Carver, who always had seen his elder sister as a rival, Carver, who killed the darkspawn who was taking Mel away, Carver was then killed by an ogre, when he decided to attack, to early, to recklessly.

She missed him, she missed him horribly.

But she was alive – and so was this woman here.

Mel recalled one more scene from the past. Ostagar, just before the battle – four people, three human men and one red-haired elven woman leaving the camp toward Korcari Wilds. Warden recruits, Mel was informed.

There are too many coincidences here, she thought. This woman and I – we were passing each other so many times, never really crossing our paths.

And now here we are.

They stopped in front of the door to the guest chambers.

“See you tomorrow,” Saliya Mahariel said.

There was a smile on her face and it was warm.

***

Something woke Mel up in the middle of the night. Something was walking on her stomach, making her uncomfortable.

She opened her eyes and saw a red cat sitting on her chest. It was purring like some dwarven invention.

“What...” she started.

The cat rose its paws and started to knead her, definitely intending to use her as a bed.

She looked at Fenris sleeping beside her. The elf didn’t wake up, lying on his side, lines on his skin emitting pale light.

Great, the potential ally in the fight against purring monster sleeping.

“I’m a dog person, cat, go away, shoo!” she whispered.

The cat knew better. It curled on her chest and continued to purr intensely.

She sat up.

The cat let out a displeased meow and jumped off the bed, right on Fluffy’s back.

This, of course, woke the dog, who had earlier ignored the intruder – ungrateful beast and disgrace to all mabari.

The disgrace to all mabari woke up, barking. Which, in turn, woke up Fenris.

The cat jumped, hissed at the dog, then jumped out of the window, while Fluffy continued to bark furiously.

“What was that?” Fenris asked.

“A demon disguised as a cat,” Mel said.

Then it hit her – a demon in a form of a cat was featured in one of Anders’ stories, the one even Varric considered to be utter bullshit. It ate several Templars at Fereldan Circle and was quite friendly towards Anders himself…

But there were many, many cats in Anders’ stories. There were cats at his clinic in Darktown. There was a story of a cat Anders had when he was living with the Wardens… Anders claimed he was forced to give the cat away, but, but what if…

This would be painful irony, wouldn’t it?

“It is gone,” Mel said.

Then she leaned towards her lover, embracing him and holding him, just like that, just holding him, nothing more.

It hurt a little less like this, but it still hurt and she hadn’t talked to anybody about this, because who would understand how much it hurt? Not Fenris, but at least she could feel his skin against her cheek and his smell, and his hands on her back as he embraced her, not asking, just being there and this helped.

***

“So we almost met” Saliya Mahariel smiled.

They were sitting in a place, where Vigil Keep’s battlements were wider, creating a space suitable for a large ballista. There was indeed a ballista in the other such place, but this one was, since the times were calm for a change, converted into Commander’s private space.

There was a Dalish tent standing here, sewn from several mismatched layers of leather and canvas, decorated with halla horns and painted with symbols of the Dalish creators.

“I like to sleep sometimes in a place, that is not made of stone” Saliya explained when asked.

Mel just nodded. She could imagine how must it be, for someone used to a nomadic life, being suddenly forced to live in a large, stone building.

Next to the tent, Saliya had a little table and she brought tea. It was some kind of mixture of green tea and dried fruits and it smelled divine. Mel really wanted to enjoy the talk, but she was getting more and more nervous.

It was not just Anders. Looking at the tent made Mel remember what happened to keeper Marethari. Another person they both met. Another person that was killed in Mel’s presence. Killed because of Mel – to a degree.

More tragedies. Maker, how did it all happen?

The prison in the Vimmark Mountains seemed to be a very pleasant topic compared to all of this.

Damn it.

I’m going to chat and to enjoy it for a moment, Mel decided.

Then I will just let it happen.

“Too many coincidences” Mel nodded. “And I was told some stories about you.”

She wanted to mention Merrill, but Saliya was quicker.

“Zevran told me, you are friends with Anders”

She was smiling.

Maker damn it.

“Friends is maybe an overstatement,” Mel said, a nervous smile on her lips.

Keep it calm, Melinda Hawke, keep it calm and casual so she might not notice what happened.

“How is he?”

Mel sat there silent, a teacup clutched in her motionless hands.

Those hands held a dagger when she…

“Hawke?” Saliya asked, bowing, looking at Mel’s face with those almond-shaped, brilliant green eyes.

Mel sighed.

There is no escape and no jokes this time, just impossible.

“Anders is dead,” she said.

Saliya blinked.

“What happened?” she asked.

“I...”

I killed him. I murdered your friend because I was appalled by what he had done, but the more I think about that, the more I think about how did the situation looked like, about what he went through, the more I think my decision was wrong. But I killed him because I was afraid of what he had done – and of the fact, I could do nothing. Because I was afraid the Templars will find Bethany and kill her. Because…

Because I’m just stupid, but stupid doesn’t cover what happened. Because I was afraid, but afraid doesn’t cover what happened. Because I was lost and I believed the spirit inside him was a demon possessing him, but I’m not sure.

I killed your friend and I will have to live with it and to feel this guilt for the rest of my life.

“I… it… it was...”

She felt a small, but strong hand pressed against hers. The green eyes looked at her, piercing through her soul. Did Saliya Mahariel know already?

“It’s all right,” she said. “I guess it’s a long story and that there was a long chain of events leading to his death. You don’t have to tell me now if it’s hard for you.”

“I will appreciate that,” Mel said. “I’m… I’m sorry. I cannot stop thinking that there could be a way to save him, a way I haven’t noticed. But it happened and… I just can’t...”

It’s my fault, my fault, all my fault.

She noticed tears gathering in Saliya’s eyes. Oh, how great way to start an acquaintance.

“He was my friend,” Saliya said. “One of my best friends.”

I know, Mel thought. I know.

“And he left, out of a sudden, leaving just a short note” Saliya continued. “And then I hear from Nate that Anders is in Kirkwall, apparently he is all right and… and now this. I’m sorry. I loved him. I did.”

“It’s all right,” Mel said.

It was not enough.

Saliya wiped the tears away with the sleeve of her shirt.

“Well,” she said. “We will talk about this one day… when we are ready. For now… For now, let’s change the topic.”

“I also met Merrill,” Mel said.

“Merrill” there was another smile on Saliya’s face.

“She is better than Anders” Mel stated quickly. “Well, she… There were some complications too, but at least with Merrill I avoided...”

Killing her after she was possessed.

“She had problems. She was all right when I left her in Kirkwall.

“A Dalish mage in the human city?”

“Not a perfect situation” Mel admitted. “But there is much she can do this way, and the captain of the guard is our friend, she will protect Merrill.”

And there is no more circle in Kirkwall and the city is too much of a mess right now for anyone to search for more apostates, and Orsino and his little blood magic circle are gone, and the reason of them being gone is gone too, Meredith and the worst of her templars dead, and those who are left are not the kind of people who would search for revenge against my friends.

Not unless the Divine decides to announce an Exalted March, that is.

Mel sighed again.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I… I left a huge mess in Kirkwall and two of your friends were involved and it’s hard for me to speak of it.

And again – a hand on her hand.

Maker damn it – something in Mel’s mind said. If I wasn’t committed, I would have a crush right now.

Green-eyed elves were just too dangerous to come upon.

She backed off.

“I appreciate it,” she said, “But I feel uncomfortable with you touching me like this.”

“All right,” Saliya said.

This was a Dalish thing, Mel recalled. Merrill was used to lots of touches and physical closeness. The Dalish lived very close, traveled in their aravels long distances, were not only sleeping under the sky or in the tents but also close to each other. Merrill, after she was banished from her clan, complained often, then living alone is difficult for her. That she starves for touch. Saliya must have been like her – but Saliya had many close people around her right now, while Merrill…

You are not able to help everyone, Mel Hawke.

Great, but could you please stop being involved in destroying everyone’s life.

“Maybe… maybe just tell me how did it happen, that you managed singlehandedly defeat the Archdemon?” Mel changed the topic.

“All right,” Saliya said. “It started with a mirror, as probably Merrill already had told you...”

***

“I like this one,” Sigrun said, taking a book out of the shelf and giving it to Fenris. “I don’t know what would be your look, but I can relate to the hero. I mean, he is a Carta dwarf and low caste…”

Fenris took the book, looked at its cover and snickered.

“What?” Sigrun asked. “The author wrote some more stuff after this one, most people here claim it is much better, but this one is my favorite.”

“I know the author.”

Sigrun’s eyes suddenly got big and shiny.

“You know Varric Tethras?”

Now it was Mel who tried not to laugh – but she just could not.

Sigrun looked at them both, puzzled.

“What is so funny?”

“Just expect he will write us into his next work,” Mel said. “He promised us that.”

“No offense,” Fenris said, returning the book “Varric is… a good friend. But I prefer something else.”

Sigrun was overjoyed, as she found Fenris going through the Keep’s library. Now it was her who was overly friendly, but books were a safe conversation starter.

“Of course! I love  _ Sourfacer’s Luck _ , if you want it, it's horribly romantic and also has a dwarven heroine, but I hope you don’t mind...”

But Fenris already skipped the novel section and proceeded to other parts of the library.

“Zevran likes poetry” Sigrun continued. “I mean, this kind of poetry, that makes you red.”

“I bet.” Fenris almost chuckled. Almost.

“What are you searching for?”

“Something on the local history, maybe?”

“Does it have to be about elves? Velanna prefers when its about elves. We have many books on Dalish in Ferelden and Velanna, Ylanni and the commander often argue about them.”

“It doesn’t have to be about elves, it can, but it's not necessary.”

Sigrun frowned, approached the bookshelf.

“Maybe this one?” she picked a book covered in green leather. “I prefer romance and crime stories, but I liked this one, it was not as boring as the other books on history. And not as pretentious as what Genitivi wrote. It has elves in it, dwarves too, mostly humans, unfortunately, but, as commander tells Velanna, elves need to write their own history yet. And she says it's decent, when it comes to elves, so...”

Fenris nodded, took the book, flipped several pages.

“It is not very hard to read too” Sigrun added, a little embarrassed. “I mean, when I came here my skills were very poor… You don’t exactly get an education in Dusttown.”

The elf looked at her.

“They don’t allow you to read?” he asked.

“They just don’t bother. You don’t need it when you are casteless.”

He nodded again, with understanding. Something resembling a smile appeared on his face.

“I can understand this.” He said. “I learned how to read just recently.”

“Oh. Oh. Opens new worlds doesn't it.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “Thank you, Sigrun”

“She seems nice,” Mel said, as they left the library.

As Saliya Mahariel had to attend official matter – trying not to kill some nobles, as she said and Mel could do nothing, but relate – they decided to have a slow afternoon on the sunny slopes beside the keep. Mel just wanted to sit there and enjoy familiar views – Fenris requested to see the library first.

There was a meadow outside the Keep. The mountain hasn’t thrown a shadow in it yet and the afternoon was warm. There ware many herbs and flowers on the meadow and it smelled just perfect. Just like a Fereldan meadow should smell.

Mel lied down on the grass, feeling the leaves and blades brushing her arms and face. Clouds flew over her head. Fenris situated himself beside her, back leaned against her stomach, book in his hand.

Perfect, Mel thought.

She was not yet forced to leave, this was a huge success.

“The Alamari tribes built the keep first known as The Vigil to defend themselves against Tevinter invasion” Fenris read, his voice indicating that he was enjoying the notion of someone fighting the empire. “The Avvars, who are now a minority in the region, were then the strongest tribe and the Vigil was then their stronghold. The crypts belonging to their chieftains can be found under the keep and there are several legends connected to Avvars and their gods. The Avvar presence in the Amaranthine arling is however not the only important one. The Tevinter ruins in Wending Wood and caves leading to Deep Roads – even to the lost Thaig of Kal Hirol...”

Mel closed her eyes. She had the sun on her face and the smell of flowers around her. Life couldn’t be more perfect – for this one moment, at least.

***

“...You should talk to her” they heard, as they were going back to guest chambers.

Mel stopped. This was the voice of the elf, Ylanni Tabris. She was angry with someone.

“Ylanni, I already did.” It was Nathaniel who answered.

“And?”

“She has her point.”

“Her point!” Ylanni exclaimed. “What is her point? She is disobeying Weisshaupt again, this won’t end well! She rejected another liaison, she sent Woolsey away, she wants me to stop corresponding with the Chamberlain of the Grey! How could we function, separated from everyone else? Grey Wardens should support each other, and Saliya is undermining it! What if the next Blight cames?”

“Hopefully not while we are alive. Ylanni, the Wardens from Weisshaupt also disregard us. They sent me to Free Marches against Saliya’s will. And she stated openly I am her second in command.”

“I can be second in command too” Ylanni protested. “She left me in charge last time. Me. Not you!”

“She left us both, as I remember.”

“Do you think I’m not competent enough? Because I am an elf?”

“No, Ylanni, don’t start this again...”

“Stop undermining my competences! And stop defending Saliya! Weisshaupt has doubts and we all know it! Killing an Archdemon is not enough to become Commander!”

“Because all the other Wardens, who did it, died.”

“Yes, that too! How did she survive? I was sent some documents from Weisshaupt! And, Maker damn it, this is the weirdest thing out there! She wrote it was Riordan who killed the archdemon, do you understand? That is her official version! But here, here everyone says, that, well, she killed the Archdemon and Riordan died earlier. Zevran says he saw her doing it! She shouldn’t survive that! They told me, openly, this is not impossible. She lies – but where?”

“And you” Nathaniel’s voice was cold “Are now openly saying you are conspiring with Weisshaupt behind our back.”

“This is not conspiring” Ylanni disagreed. “They are our command, Maker damn it! We should listen to them, but instead… Listen, they want to send uns another liaison. And this time they won’t get no as an answer. We need to persuade her to accept this. Otherwise, she will be declared rogue. We could depose her...”

“That is not going to happen.”

“Of course. You are loyal to her. Damn it, Nate. Damn it, what have I ever…”

Mel heard the door slamming as Ylanni left.

Damn.

Nathaniel was standing in the corridor, looking at Fenris and her. Mel shrugged.

“She was quite open with that” she admitted.

“Yes,” Nathaniel said. “She was. She shouldn’t be.”

“Wardens’ business…”

Wardens’ business tended to be quite messy, as it turned out. And the thing imprisoned in the Vimmark Mountains was a great proof of this.

They haven’t discussed this thing yet, and Mel was a bit disturbed by that – but, on the other hand, hearing how does Ylanni behaves and that there was some… differences of opinion… between Warden-Commander Mahariel and the Grey Warden command, this could be understandable. Saliya Mahariel didn’t want certain things exposed and discussed.

But she had to discuss them with Mel.

And Mel needed to discuss them with Warden-Commander Mahariel.

***

“I heard your subordinates arguing.”

“Ylanni”

Mel nodded.

“So obvious?”

Saliya sighted.

“We tried. I wanted to have her at my side, but… It didn’t work. She has problems with me, she always will have. She is a good person though, no matter, how full of anger… And she is competent. I need to have someone to question my orders” Saliya smiled “Otherwise I could have ended with everybody around just loving me, and that would end badly.”

“People at Weisshaupt don’t like you.” Mel pointed out.

“Yes. I decided to hide some things form them.”

“As how you survived killing the Archdemon?”

“Ylanni told you that?”

“She was arguing with Nathaniel” Mem shrugged “I just was around…”

“This is no secret I survived” Saliya agreed “But how… I’d rather not tell.”

“We all have our secrets” Mel agreed.

Her secret was painfull and heavy inside her chest and she couldn’t help it.

I need to tell her the truth, she kept saying to herself, but it didn’t work, she was still silent.

The door creaked, and both women heard a cat meowing. Mel looked that way and she saw the red intruder, looking perfectly innocent now.

Saliya smiled.

“Pounce. Come on, kitty, come here!”

The cat approached, nuzzled against the chairs, against Mel’s leg, as if it forgot how it was brutally thrown from the bed.

“This thing visited me last night” Mel complained. “Sat on my chest like a breath-stealing demon.”

“He likes you” Saliya laughed.

The cat looked at Mel. Its eyes were green – green eyes, red hair, like the Warden-Commander herself.

“I’m a dog person.”

“This is not a problem for Pounce,” Saliya said.

She picked the cat up and the cat just sat on her knees, pleased. She started to stroke shiny, red fur.

“This was Anders’ cat?” Mel dared to ask.

“Yes”

Mel frowned.

“He told me you forced him to leave the cat.”

Saliya’s eyes went large.

“Me? Why would I?”

Mel shrugged.

“Anders said he was told he was going soft. Because of the cat, apparently.”

“Anders,” Saliya said, her voice sad and hard at the same time “Had left me. There was this man, a Templar – he came to us, said he wanted to join us, I accepted him… but then, out of a sudden, he disappeared and Anders did… and one more person, too… Then Rolan returned, claiming I was protecting an abomination. He was a Templar and Anders was a dangerous apostate, and he was ordered to catch him. Catch him! He was one of my people then! He was joined, I already used my right of prescription, but no, Templars, apparently, just don’t care about that, so Rolan decided he will catch Anders. He didn’t manage to do it – but then he returned to me and said he tried and that Anders was possessed.”

“Justice,” Mel said.

“Justice? It was Justice? Makes sense...” Saliya shook her head. “Sweet Creators, I didn’t want to lose any of them, but, in a way, they were made for each other.”

How did we end up discussing Anders anyway, Mel thought.

“Yes,” she said dryly. “They did.”

“Sorry. I didn’t want to… Was Justice a reason Anders died?”

“To a degree”

“So I lost two of my friends,” Saliya said.

She bowed down and pressed her face into the cat’s soft fur. The cat purred on her knees, as she was sitting like this for a while.

Mel wanted to leave, but she didn’t do it.

***

The inevitable finally came and it took a form of the young mage, Bryn. They ambushed Mel just the next day, the eyes glowing dangerously.

“You came from Kirkwall,” they said.

Mel nodded, predicting the worse.

She was right, of course.

“There are rumors of the rebellion in the Circle,” the young mage said. They were overly excited and Mel wanted to run, although she never really was a person who liked to run away. “They said, a mage invented a spell that destroyed the Chantry and that the Knight-Commander declared Annulment! That the mages defended themselves, killed all the templars and…

There were too many people around, listening: Ylanni Tabris, Nathaniel, Zevran…

“Zevran told me you know this” Bryn continued.

“Not all the templars were killed,” Mel said slowly.

“Oh,” the young mage looked disappointed.

“The First Enchanter was a blood mage” Fenris snapped. “And an abomination.”

“Those are just rumors” Bryn protested.

“No, those are not. I was there.”

Mel thought she had just stepped on the box full of gatlok, ready to explode any given moment. Great, just great.

“Fenris,” she said disapprovingly.

“There were blood mages in the Circle,” he said.

“There are blood mages in every circle” Bryn protested, and that was a grave mistake.

Fenris approached the young person, loomed above them – lean and high, lines on his skin glowing white, handsome face grinning.

“And I guess you know something about it, that is why you escaped your circle to hide among the Wardens...”

“Fenris!” Med shouted.

She saw the young mage panicked, but not paralyzed, hands rose to defend themselves, lips half-open, ready to recite the spell.

No, no, no, that could not be happening.

She was beside the elf, grabbing him by the arms, pulling him away from the young mage.

“This is just a kid, Fenris, calm down!”

“This kid is a mage!”

“This mage is living in a place where we are guests, Maker damn it! Enough! Just enough! What had gotten into you?”

She was holding his arms and she felt a slight tingling under her fingers – the lyrium circulated Fenris’ body, powers half activated.

Why had he snapped at this moment? With Anders, she had rarely had to hold him away – with Merrill almost never, and Merrill was an actual blood mage, Maker damn it. Anders did everything to provoke Fenris, they kept provoking each other… and yet Fenris usually kept it calm enough.

Fenris shook his head.

“I need some air,” he said.

“All right. Shall I go with you?”

He gave her a long look.

“No. But.. thank you, Hawke. Maybe… Maybe later.”

“What is with this one?” Velanna asked.

Now it hit Mel, that for those few days they already spent in Vigil’s Keep Fenris never made any comments of this elf being a mage.

Was it mentioning Kirkwall, that caused it?

They hadn’t spoken of what happened. It just… happened. It just was.

Anders was gone and Mel believed Fenris was happy about it. Now it seemed the reality could have been a little more complex than that.

She felt she needs to be alone too, but she didn’t want to leave Fenris. She didn’t want to act against his will too. If he wanted to be left alone, then she had no choice.

She went to the battlements of the keep. It was another nice, warm day, the smell of herbs and flowers from the meadow was overpowered by all the smoke from kitchens and blacksmithies surrounding the keep itself, but Mel saw them: tranquility that had to be destroyed one day because that was just how her life looked like.

She sat down, looking at the mountain.

“Can I?” she heard.

Saliya Mahariel stood next to her, calm and a little sad.

Mel sighed.

“Something happened?” Saliya asked.

“There was… an incident. Nothing very serious, but Fenris attacked your young mage, Bryn. He dislikes all the mages, but I didn’t expect him to do such a thing.”

“He is not easy to deal with?”

“Bet you. It is hard to get to him. Even for me.”

“Oh.”

Saliya sat down beside her.

She looked so serene, but there was also this sadness in her eyes. Was this because she had recently learned she lost a friend or was it because of other burdens?

Those glimpses Mel had received during the stay – those were just pieces. There must have been more – being a Dalish who was forced to leave her clan, to participate in the Joining, to fight a war she didn’t want to fight… and all the rest, commanding all the people, ruling an arling, dealing with the Grey Wardens command that she disagreed with, dealing with human nobles who probably thought of her as an impostor… She did a remarkable job, but underneath she was a woman younger than Mel was, fragile and lost.

Mel had a weakness for fragile and lost elves.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“For what?”

“For… bringing the news. For hiding things from you. For being...” guilty of the death of your friend, of the keeper of your clan… of the man I love attacking your subordinate… “For participating in all of this.”

“Things happen all the time. I just struggle to keep it all together.” She looked at Mel with those large, beautiful, brilliant green eyes. “I have no idea, for how long will I be able to do this.”

“Something you are afraid?” Mel dared to ask.

Saliya looked at her hands, at slender fingers covered with patches of thicker flesh made by the hilt of a sword and bowstring.

“Yes. Many things. Many questions I have. Answers I need. Things I don’t understand, but they just keep coming at me and attacking me.”

“Oh.” Mel said “That kind of thing. I stopped to try to understand them years ago.”

She joked – partially. Saliya did not.

“I didn’t. I just need… to know. To find. A solution.”

“For what?”

“For what happened with me.”

“Oh.”

The Warden-Commander stood up.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t bother you with this. We will talk this evening, I will ask you what I want from you and then you both will be free to go. That’s everything I want from you.”

This was discouraging and annoying and Mel stood up as well. She did not think: she grabbed the other woman’s shoulders.

She was looming over Saliya, who was terribly small – but at the some time it seemed as if they were the same height – and Saliya didn’t even flinch when a much larger woman held her like that.

“You need to know” Mel snapped.

“What?”

“Marethari is dead and I’m responsible.”

There. One thing over and done. One more waiting, but it was slightly better this way.

Saliya Mahariel blinked, shocked.

“I...” she started.

“I’m sorry, I’m responsible for the death of two people you loved. I couldn’t find a way to save them and I… I never expected to meet you and to have to tell you.

The Warden slowly backed off, from under Mel’s hands. This was not disgust on her face, luckily, but it was awful enough.

“Is this another story that is hard for you to tell me?” she asked.

“No. Yes. Yes, it is, but I will try this one. Merrill...”

It started with the mirror.

At the end of the story Mel sat next to a pretty, crying elven woman and she had no idea, how to proceed. By now she had no idea what kind of a person Saliya Mahariel ist, and that just made things worse.

“Merrill should be allowed to have the knife,” she said.

“This was dangerous” Mel protested, and the Warden laughed.

“Dangerous? Please, we both are making dangerous things all the time, we and our friends. We are using forbidden knowledge all the time. The mirror is not evil. It can lead one to an evil place and that one had conducted the taint on me and Tamlen… but no, it is not evil. It is part of the past that maybe has the answers I need. And Marethari…” Saliya shook her head. “It’s horrible what happened to her, but she… what she did was unnecessary. She didn’t protect Merrill but acted on her own pride. The demon that possessed her was her own.”

Mel blinked.

“What?”

“You are not guilty of this death,” Saliya said, calmly, although she still had tears in her eyes. “It would be so easy to blame you, but no, that’s not it, that’s not you. And not Merrill either. This is not your fault, Mel Hawke” she placed her fingers on Mel’s hand. “It is not.”

But there was still another death and it was Mel’s fault and blood on her hands, and no one was going to forgive her that.

***

In the end, it was Fenris, who had found her.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I wanted to ask you the same,” she said, embracing him. She loved how it felt to hold him, he seemed to be extremely fragile and extremely strong at the same time.

Lyrium, steel, and glass.

She pressed her face into his neck, feeling his skin, warm flesh, cold mineral underneath.

She felt Fenris inhaling and exhaling, slowly, nervously.

“I don’t know if I’m all right” he admitted. “I… I felt uneasy when this mage… And that was not why he was a mage, but what he said, but it is so very easy to hate. And so very difficult, when you realize, that hate is not everything you have, that there is something else there. A regret.”

Mal nodded.

“Yes,” she said.

“You miss him” Fenris stated.

“Yes”

“You feel guilty.”

“Yes”

“I should be able to tell you you should not and that you made the right thing, but I just can’t. I want to think it was the right thing to do, but I can’t. I want to feel just hatred again because it was so simple, so easy… It is so easy to put everything into being an angry victim” he laughed and it was short and nervous laughter. “And all the time I see so many people who keep to this, and they are right, and I was right to all the time, but… No. It is more complicated than that and when it happens, it starts to hurt for real… Because there is this thought, that maybe, maybe you are not the only one, who hurts and that the world is not as black and white as you wanted it to see.”

“Yes.”

“I love you” he murmured, pressing his face against her hair, placing a kiss on her head. Mel sighed.

This was a nice, sweet kiss, buy the pain, guilt and doubt weren’t nice at all.

“Have you told her?” Fenris asked.

“No.”

“You need to.”

“Yes.”

***

Mel totally intended to do it in the evening, but Warden-Commander Mahariel turned out to have an important meeting with her crew.

“Weisshaupt wants her to accept a liaison,” Zevran said.

They said in the dining room, nice and warm, Zevran found a bottle of wine he claimed to be one of the best in the Keep. If the best one – everyone needed to decide on their own.

Judging from Fenris’ expression, this was an excellent wine indeed.

“We had heard Nathaniel and Ylanni arguing,” Mel said.

Zevran snickered.

“Those two… I would love to take Ylanni’s side here, but Nate is a decent person, for a noble, and she shouldn’t sleep with him in the first place, and also she should stop treating Saliya as her enemy… she seems to hate everyone, who wants to help her” he sighed. “She kind of tolerates me, because I killed that bastard, Vaughn...”

Fenris made a displeased frown, looked at the wine bottle, then at his glass, at Mel’s glass.

“I pass,” Mel said and her lover just took the entire bottle for himself.

He needed that. She intended to ask Zevran for another one.

She did not have to. Zevran looked at Bryn, who sat in the corner of the room, with their cup of tea and a large book they studied. They avoided looking at Fenris, but on the other hand, Fenris avoided looking at the young mage.

“Bryn, would you be nice and bring us a bottle?”

“From the cellar?”

“From this one where you were very brave fighting ash wright last month, as I was informed.”

“You have ash wrights in the wine cellar,” Mel said.

“It connects to the crypts” Bryn explained. “Then there are caverns and entrance to the deep roads, but it was blocked. But the wrights return sometimes. They shouldn’t be back for the next year or so, Commander said.”

“Oh. Need me to go with you?”

“No” Bryn stated, getting up. “If something appears, I know how to proceed. Thank you.”

They left the book and Fenris threw it a glance now like he was wondering if it contained something interesting, or just something he hated

“Ylanni was hurt by this noble you killed in Denerim?” Fenris asked and “hurt” was an obvious euphemism here.

“Her cousin was. And her fiancee was killed. This was…” now it was Zevran who looked displeased. “The entire situation in the alienage was one of the most awful things I’ve ever seen, and I am a professional assassin, mind you.”

“When you are hurt something it is difficult to think of everything else,” Fenris said.

Zevran was silent for a moment, then he sighed, throwing his head back and looking at the carved beams of the ceiling.

“And sometimes,” he said, “It is easy to think of everything, except what hurts you.”

Mel felt out of place. She should go with Bryn to the cellar, find ash wrights and wine. Maybe to tell the young mage of what happened in Kirkwall… well, at least about part of the story.

Fenris went silent, drank some wine from the bottle.

Mel felt something warm and soft against her leg. She looked down and noticed the cat.

“Meow,” it said, looking at her.

She shook her head.

“All right, cat” she agreed “Now you can sit on me.

The cat, seemingly an intelligent one, didn’t hesitate. It jumped on Mel’s lap and started to purr and knead. Hesitantly, Mel put her hand on the soft head and the cat brushed against her palm.

“You forgive me?” Mel asked.

Cat, of course, said nothing.

It just curled and fell asleep.

That night the cat slept on Mel’s chest and Mel dreamed of Anders. He was standing there, holding the cat and just smiled, the way Anders used to smile in his rare moments of serenity.


	3. Shadows Cree[ing

“I don’t want to leave” Mel stated.

Despite she still hadn’t tell Saliya Mahariel what really happened to Anders. Despite she didn’t tell the others – and she was already asked and received an uncomfortable silence once she just told Anders was dead and refused to elaborate.

At least there were no more incidents – not on her or Fenris’ side at least. The decisions must have turned unfortunate for Ylanni Tabris, who was now even more unpleasant to everyone around her. Mel looked at this and felt uncomfortable. She would say, that Ylanni behaved like Carver used to sometimes… if this wasn’t something completely else.

Grey Warden command in Weisshaupt was to receive another answer declining the offer of sending a liaison. The Warden’s of Ferelden were on their own and acting against the rest of the order – or at least their commander was, and the rest just followed, her, not only her subordinates but also friends.

“I will have problems here soon” Saliya stated, as she closed the door behind her and Mel. “They will try to depose me. They will send someone against my wishes and Ylanni will support them. I’m taking a terrible risk.”

“Why?” Mel asked.

“Because I’ve seen Weisshaupt and I had seen how corrupt the order is. It is going to explode one day.”

“I have experience with exploding things,” Mel said “For example gatlok. And Chantries.”

“And they have secrets and don’t want to give answers. I found this record about something locked in a structure in Vimmark mountains and it was… disturbing. Nathaniel tried to investigate a little when he was in Free Marches, but he was stopped by the other Wardens once they learned he asks questions. I know your father was the one who helped with this, he got protection from the Chantry as an exchange. I think it might be… relevant. If you know anything.”

“I know more than I would like to know,” Mel said.

She didn’t want to talk about it, but it was still better than Anders’ death.

So she talked: of Carta trying to hunt her and Bethany, of the ancient tower in the middle of nowhere, of madness, creeping, old traps and voices in Anders’ head – in every Warden’s head. Of the thing waiting at the top of the tower.

As she was talking, Saliya Mahariel leaned in her chair, her hand folded under her chin. Her eyes went dark and Mel felt the shiver on her spine.

This was serious. Far more serious, than she expected.

“Well, I killed it,” she said. “We killed it. It was not easy, but we managed to do it.”

“Are you sure?” Mel asked.

“I saw it falling. Searched the corpse afterward. It smelled” Mel frowned in disgust “Like a darkspawn. Like blight. This was some kind of a darkspawn, right? Why hadn’t the Wardens killed it? I managed to do it.”

“Describe this thing again,” Saliya asked.

“Ugh. It was… one ugly blighter, for sure.”

It was hard to describe the thing: the height, the pieces of armor and jewelry fused into the blighted flesh, the face that lost its symmetry a long time ago. The long limbs and long fingers. The thick, black, tainted blood.

Saliya just sat there, nodding.

“You have an idea what it was” Mel guessed.

“This is a theory, but it makes sense. You said it spoke?”

“In Tevene. An old form of Tevene, I believe.”

“...makes sense. What did it say?”

Mel shrugged.

“Something about Dumat. It was a darkspawn, so it called an Old God, makes sense, well, at least that is a perfectly normal thing for the darkspawn to speak of when they are speaking.”

“Old god that was killed a long time ago...”

“The Old god died. This thing died. No need to worry.”

Saliya shook her head.

“No. There are many reasons to worry about it. How many living darkspawn was there in the tower? How many Wardens?”

“I have no idea about Darkspawn. As for Wardens… I had Anders with me. There were also Larius and Janeka. I killed Janeka. Larius went away.”

Saliya Mahariel went very silent for a long, terribly long time.

“I wish I wasn’t right,” she said.

“Right about what.”

“About what this thing is. About it escaping.”

“How would it…?”

“In Larius’ body.”

“Blight.” Mel cursed.

“Blight indeed” Saliya agreed. “Thank you,” she said, her voice softer now. “I hope this knowledge will help me.

“Help you what? Overthrow the command in Weisshaupt?

Saliya shook her head.

“No. Not this. They will collapse on their own. Hopefully without the help of the thing you encountered but… No. I have other plans. And they don’t include you anymore, you are safe from me now”

She smiled and Mel once again thought, how beautiful of a smile it was.

Maybe, just maybe, she had a crush, but fortunately, this was to be over soon.

“Mel Hawke” Warden-Commander Mahariel said “I’m terribly sorry for some things you encountered here. I’d love to be a better host for you. I have to deal with the things I don’t like… I’m sorry. You should have met the real me.”

The real Saliya Mahariel?

The woman smiling as she was driving the bandits away. The woman who was late to dinner the first day because she had to greet her lover properly. The woman who was collecting books and good wine, who had built a tent on the battlements, wore beads and ribbons in her hair, who took care of her friend’s dog. Who was admired and loved by most people around her and kept beside her someone, who disliked her to remind her of her failures?

“I think I met you,” Mel said, smiling. “And I think I like you. And I… I am really afraid that you will hate me.” She sighed “Because of Anders.”

The silence has fallen between them, thick and heavy.

“Why would I hate you?” Saliya Mahariel asked.

“I killed him”

There. There it is. And nothing will change that.

Saliya Mahariel nodded, slowly.

“I guessed that already.”

Mel bowed her head.

“I don’t ask for your forgiveness, because I don’t deserve it. What I did was horrible. As was what he did, but this doesn’t make what I did right.”

“I’m not going to forgive you, Mel Hawke” Saliya Mahariel said, standing up “But I am not going to hate you either. I just regret we didn’t meet in other circumstances. I’d love to be your friend, but I guess it is too late for this now. And not only because of Anders.”

***

Mel couldn’t sleep this night. She spent long hours pressed to Fenris’ back, her eyes open, her thoughts wandering.

Whatever was Saliya Mahariel thinking of her – Mel had no idea.

It was about the middle of the night, as Mel heard the door creaking and someone leaving, going down the stairs, approaching her door, opening it.

She lied there, waiting. She heard the rustle of paper and then the footsteps of someone leaving.

She stood up, went to the table there was a letter left there.

_Mel Hawke_

_I don’t hate you. I would love to be your friend, but I have to leave now. Something is coming and I have to protect my friends. I hope, they won’t be affected, but at the same time, I’m afraid we all will be._

_Leave in the morning. Find a safe place for yourself. There is a storm coming._

_S._

Mel folded the letter in her hand, then she left for the battlements. She was searching for someone leaving the keep, but she saw no one.

In the morning both Warden-Commander Mahariel and Zevran were not in the Keep. The only people, who knew that they departed at night were Nathaniel Howe and Ylanni Tabris. The former was disturbed. The latter was happy about the turn of the events.

Mel just listened to the Wardens discussing the possible reason for the Commander leaving. She said nothing – neither of the letter nor of the last talk they had.

I don’t hate you, Mel Hawke.

There is a storm coming.

There was always a storm, there were always things ready to explode, Mel thought, leaving the Vigil’s keep.

She had several calm moments here. She healed some of the pain caused by Anders’ death. She met someone she wanted to have as her friend.

She knew she will remember this.


	4. Red Hair

Red. Silver and blue stained with red. Dead bodies: proud fortress witnessing the fall of the warriors who had sworn to protect the land. Where once heroes dwelt, now there was only death and bitter taste of betrayed hopes.

The fortress was a proud, strong place once. Now it was ruined, with its defenders defeated not by the enemy they fought for centuries, but by a new force formed to bring peace to the land.

She saw the corpses of people who should be allies. And she walked among them looking into each face, searching for the ones she had known and hoping she will not find them here.

Lyenne was talking with her general. She and Cullen stood over a table covered with maps and reports. Mel passed them by. She had her matter to attend.

What happened hurt still. The fear, freshly woken up, lingered under Mel's skull and in her heart. There had been a thing in the Fade that had been looking at Mel. Her personal demon, that was with her all those years. No one else had seemed to notice it. Mel had once put a hand on Varric’s arm and she had wanted to ask the dwarf if he saw it, but then Lyenne called and then there had been more demons attacking and then there had been no time to discuss this.

The demons that have been attacking them were not the most dangerous ones. Mel had already learned, that when a demon fights it means it lost all its other possibilities and its weak now. The most dangerous were those who were hiding in the shadows and influencing the world from there.

Like Nightmare. Like the demon that followed her in the Fade.

Lyenne was following the spirit that took the form of dead Divine, but there was another thing there, just for Mel. She saw it with the corner of her eye. It smiled, it reached out its hand, it wore a familiar face. It was speaking and though she was not able to hear it, she knew it was calling her name.

She needed to sit down and think about what she saw. She needed to talk to Varric. Varric would listen – he always listened. She would gladly talk to Lyenne too since she was a mage and maybe she could help, at least a little, but Lyenne was occupied.

There were more things, that just Mel’s private demon, but it all was connected, tangled together: fear and remorse and the constant question: why, why it was not me, who was left there to fight the demons? Stroud's death felt unnecessary, but it was Lyenne's decision, not Mel's. So maybe she should be thankful? She got another chance. A chance to see her sister, friends, and lover again.

And a chance to search for familiar faces among the fallen Grey Wardens, because that was everything she could do right now.

“I'm searching for Nathaniel Howe,” she said to Varric, as he asked why is she is looking at every dead Warden at Adamant Fortress.

This was not the moment to discuss the Demon of Remorse.

The dwarf shook his head.

“You're a bad liar, Hawke,” he said.

“I AM looking for Nathaniel Howe” she repeated.

“Not only for him” Varric answered, but he didn't say anything more. He also didn't attend her in her search and she was grateful. She wanted to be left alone now.

Alone with fear and remorse. The demons didn’t stay in the Fade. There were close to her now, close still.

There was a friend, for a brief time. A red-haired Dalish woman with a kind smile on her narrow face and with sadness in her heart. Stories heard in Kirkwall from mutual friends, then one letter brought by an elven assassin, then a meeting in Ferelden, long talks, some bitterness over a friend's body. And something Mel wanted to call friendship.

And now she was searching for that red-haired elven woman and hoping she wasn't among the dead.

But there were no familiar faces among the fallen Wardens. No Nathaniel Howe, no Ylanni Tabris and no Saliya Mahariel, no one of the others. Wherever they were, it was not Adamant Fortress.

And that was both disturbing and comforting.

She kept searching when she noticed a red-haired woman kneeling beside corpses. The woman had a bow and quiver full of arrows trucked on her back. At first Mel’s heart jumped, before she realized that the woman isn’t an elf, but a human. Mel knew her: Leliana, know also as Nightingale, Spymaster of the Inquisition and, years ago, Saliya’s companion.

Leliana stood up and turned around. Her and Mel’s eyes met.

The Spymaster smiled.

“Can I help you, Hawke?”

Mel shook her head.

“I’m looking for a friend.”

“Someone in particular?”

“Nathaniel Howe.”

Leliana’s smile widened.

“You’re a terrible liar, Hawke.”

“Well, Varric had said that already.”

Leliana nodded.

“You could have told me, you know.”

Mel shrugged.

“You have never asked. And would it change anything?”

“It depends. When did you two meet?”

“After I left Kirkwall. I got an invitation to Vigil’s Keep, so I went there. I spent several weeks there before I left. I wouldn’t be of any help.”

Leliana frowned. She was thinking, counting.

“It means both you and Saliya would leave Vigil’s Keep about some time...”

“Yes. The same night, actually. But she didn’t tell me where she was going and why. All I can tell you, Spymaster, is that she was disturbed. Now I suppose it was because she heard from me about Corypheus.”

She saw Leliana rubbing her forehead.

“So she knew. She knew and she did nothing to help. She just disappeared. And you were at Vigil’s Keep and we weren’t told that!”

“Have you ever asked?”

“No.”

“So you weren’t answered.”

“We didn’t expect you were there...”

Mel smiled. She felt satisfaction knowing so much slipped from Nightingale’s eyes.

“Well, Spymaster, what I can tell you now: I don’t know anything about Saliya Mahariel’s current whereabouts. I went to Vigil’s Keep as I realized I could use Warden’s help, but they already left Ferelden and the only Warden I could find was Stroud...” She felt a sudden sadness as he mentioned Stroud. She ended up considering him her friend – and now he was dead. It should have been her who stayed behind. “Even Delilah Howe knew nothing about her brother. He had left about a year before. There was a new Commander appointed from Weisshaupt, and she took all the Wardens with her, to Orlais. And here, I suppose.”

“You know her name?”

Mel tried to remember. She shook her head.

“Larane? Lavrene? I’m not sure. Never met her. I was surprised it wasn’t Ylanni who get to become Commander. Saliya left her and Nathaniel in command, so...”

Leliana nodded.

“Let’s find this Larane or Lavrene then. Someone could know her.”

“We could ask Blackwall” Mel suggested.

The Spymaster frowned then shook her head.

“No. He wouldn’t know. This man is... Weird, for a Warden. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but he must have spent too many years alone. I doubt he had ever met this woman – or Saliya. Let’s try with the others. Come on.”

She walked towards the hall where survivor Wardens were gathered. Mel followed. As they entered the hall, some Wardens rose their heads. Mel noticed unsure glances. Those valiant people didn’t know what was going to happen with them, but some of them knew who Leliana was. And who Mel was – too.

“We are looking for the woman named Larane, Lavrene or similar” Leliana said. “She was Commander at Vigil’s Keep in Ferelden.”

At first, there was silence then a man spoke:

“Warden-Commander Larianne?”

Mel and Leliana looked at him. He looked weary, had dark circles around his eyes and bandages across his head and chest. By his outfit, he could be identified as a mage.

Leliana approached him.

“You know her?”

The man nodded.

“I served under her command. She is dead. I was there when you breached the gates: she died there.”

“My condolences then. Was she your friend?”

The mage nodded.

“Yes. A good woman, good Grey Warden, dedicated to our cause.”

Leliana kneeled by the man.

“You mentioned you served under her command. Was that in Ferelden?”

“Yes. I was sent with her and several others after some disagreements over who should command the Fereldan Wardens.”

“There were two people qualified to command,” Mel said. “Nathaniel Howe and Ylanni Tabris.”

“They were both recalled. As were most of the crew of the Vigil’s Keep. The orders were to send every Warden from Vigil’s Keep somewhere else.”

Mel frowned, then looked at Leliana.

“They considered them a threat.” She said. “They considered Saliya a threat.” She looked at the man they were interrogating. “Where are they now?”

The Warden shook his head.

“I don’t know. They were not here, for sure.”

“So they can be alive” Mel stated. “Oh, sweet Maker… Saliya might be alive.”

“Or dead. Or even worse” Leliana said.

“No.” Mel protested.

No, not this, she needed something, a little hope in this madness.

Leliana looked at her with a little smile.

“Well, Hawke, this is a task we have now,” she said.

Mel nodded.

Saliya Mahariel was not in Adamant fortress, but she must have been somewhere – And it was Mel’s task now to find her.

Anders, whether he was the Demon of Remorse or not, would agree.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is an attempt to write a proper introduction to a longer series. I tried to introduce several things I'm developing in my head for some time already. So, there will be more, definitely.
> 
> I love getting feedback, I love comments, so if you want to tell something about the story, the characters, my take on the lore - feel free!


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